Margaret's Life Story Blog

Sleeping in the Middle of the Bed

Margaret Randall — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 21:25:54 GMT

I was working at home which I get to do a little each week. I love my work-at-home days. It was Thursday and the weather had truly turned to winter. It was a busy day at the computer and after work, I stacked some wood onto the rack on the front porch.

Working my way down through the pile of wood in the back of the yard, I realized that I was getting, finally to the bottom. I remembered when Mike had built the wood pile so long ago and realized that it had taken at least 15 years to get to the bottom of it. He died over 10 years ago and the stack of neatly assembled logs in the frame he built was still a healthy heap at that point. As I was putting the wood in a wheelbarrow to cart it in three loads over to the front porch, I came upon a dead rat. It was all petrified, tail curled, stiff and white. I got a hand trowel and threw it into the trash bin.

I was tired because I had stayed up late the night before, finishing The Secret Life of Bees, which I highly recommend. So I decided to take a short nap and slipped onto the guest bed with the bunchy pillows. Pretty soon I was asleep. I dreamed of Mike, that he was coming home. In my dream, I heard his footsteps in the kitchen and I rustled deeper under the afghan I had from my grandma as I was slowly waking up. But when I opened my eyes, I remembered he was gone.

This doesn't happen to me too often any more, but it does sometimes. I thought of the movie Something's Gotta Give, my all time favorite romantic comedy. There is a scene in the kitchen where Jack Nicholson says to Diane Keaton, "Do you ever miss being married? I'll bet you were great at it."

"Not so much," she says. "Well maybe at night."

"Why at night?" he asks.

"Well," she says, "That's when the alone thing happens. It's quiet, the phone doesn't ring so much. But I learned some things, like sleeping in the middle of the bed. There aren't sides any more, so you just have to sleep in the middle of the bed."

Yes, I thought on waking up, there is that married rhythm that slips in and touches me when I am unaware every so often. That "what are we having for dinner?" rhythm. It must be the change in the seasons today, the chill in the air, the coziness in my kitchen with a good book and that toffee tea I just discovered that's great with a little honey. I am remembering tonight to sleep in the middle of the bed.

Talk of our Times

Margaret Randall — Sun, 28 Sep 2008 20:45:28 GMT

So everybody is talking about what's going on. Are we going to bail out the bankers or not? Who will decide? When will they decide and will it make any difference?

Well, it made me look at Millie Kalish's book again. Somehow in this country, people survived the Great Depression. And they sure didn't live on credit back then either. I was just reading the chapter called Wash Day in Little Heathens. She said that while her grandchildren wear clean clothes every day, as most of us do, in those days they wore the same clothes the whole week long on an Iowa farm because it was a huge undertaking to wash the clothes. Clothes washing was done on a Monday and they had to heat the water on a great stove. It was rain water that they had collected in a cistern. They separated all the colors and hung everything out to dry because of course, they didn't have an electric washing machine or a dryer and they had to push-pull the clothes in a great tub to get them clean. They washed white clothes first and then worked their way down the line to the dark clothes.

In our "throw everything away," plastic bag, iTunes, digital cable, internet driven culture, it is a treat to read how things were only about 70 years ago. That isn't very long ago. The pace was slower, the gadgets were fewer and probably alot more understandable.

I saw 60 Minutes tonite and they were talking about a super collider that will enable us to transport people, like how they did in Star Trek, "beam me up Scottie."

At the pace that everything changes today, we may look back on this financial mess as a blip. On the other hand, I can't help but be angry at bailing out companies that engaged in pure greed.

I think those CEOs ought to go back in time and spend a week on a farm in the 1930's and then maybe they would understand something that's worth understanding.

Please leave your comments, I would love to hear them. Thanks.

Nancy Pelosi and Know Your Power

Margaret Randall — Sat, 23 Aug 2008 16:50:49 GMT

Nancy Pelosi's book, Know Your Power details her journey from the city of Baltimore to San Francisco and then to Washington D.C.

When I attended a recent local event at which she was interviewed about her life and motivations, I didn't really know all that much about her except that she came from Baltimore and her father was the mayor there. But as I learned more, in particular about her attitude toward service to others, I was struck by how fortunate we are to have her as the Speaker.

Because of my own interest in life stories and how different we all are, it is always interesting to me to learn about the lives of others and how they evolved over time. Often I am finding that people may never have expected to be doing some of things that they have done, and the path to get there is always fascinating.

In the book, her life and journey in politics unfold. It provides perspective from the time of the death of Sala Burton, who was well-loved in Northern California, and Sala's endorsement of Nancy on her deathbed to Nancy Pelosi's rise to Speaker of the House.

Like her father, Nancy Pelosi never took winning an election for granted. She was always extremely organized. She learned from other organizers, such as her father first of all and the farm workers as well. And she credits raising five children for providing her with organizational skills that were very important.

A remark that a friend of Nancy Pelosi's made was, "I knew she was going places when I would go to her house and see those little children folding their own laundry and organizing it in stacks!"

Continuously in the book, she credits her experience raising five children as, not only an asset as a training ground for politics, but as a motivation and driving force for change to help children in the U.S. to climb from poverty to realize their gifts and talents.

When she first thought about running for congress, after Sala Burton endorsed her, she wanted to find out what her family thought of it. At that time she had only one daughter left at home, a senior in high school. She had a talk with her daughter and said that she would be fine with whatever her daughter wanted, if she wanted her to be at home for her last year. Her daughter's response, "Mom, get a life!"

And so she ran for congress.

At the end of the book, she quotes Eleanor Roosevelt, "The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams."

The book is a testament to how far women have come and it also provides encouragement for women to step up to the table and be counted because they are more than welcome there by the women who have gone before and made a place.

An Interview with Olga Murray: Nepalese Youth Opportunity Foundation Founder

Margaret Randall — Sat, 27 Sep 2008 20:27:20 GMT

I recently interviewed Olga Murray, after reading a front page article in the San Francisco Chronicle. Olga was turning 60 over 20 years ago and went to Nepal to do some hiking. What she found there led her on an amazing journey in which she has helped thousands of Nepalese children.

Listen in and hear her amazing story,

Nancy Pelosi and Olga Murray, Two Women Making a Difference

Margaret Randall — Sat, 23 Aug 2008 16:02:40 GMT

I had the recent good fortune to attend an event that was an interview with Madame Speaker, Nancy Pelosi about her new book, Know Your Power.

As she spoke about her life, what struck me the most was that her life has been one of service from the time that she was young in Baltimore. When her father was the mayor, the children were all taught to know the numbers of the social service agencies so that they could pass along the information to those in need who would call their home. Her mother always was setting an extra plate at the table for those less fortunate.

This continued as she moved across the country with her husband to her adopted city, San Francisco when she went door-to-door campaigning with her children in tow in strollers.

What I am learning most through my interest in people's life stories and the work that I am doing on this website, is that we all have and share such different paths. In my experience hearing Madame Speaker and in my interview that you can listen to on this blog with Olga Murray who founded the Nepalese Youth Opportunity Foundation (www.nyof.org), I am finding that a common ground that infuses lives with enthusiasm and energy is helping others.

Nancy Pelosi talks about the "one in five" in her book, that one in five children in America lives in poverty. She said, "what motivates me every day in my political and personal life is the fact that one in five children in America lives in poverty. I think of them every morning when I wake up, about how they may have gone to sleep hungry the night before. When my colleagues are having a frustrating day and they ask me, 'why should we do this?' I say, 'remember it's for the one in five.'"

In a response to whether she can share some inspiring words for others at the end of our interview, Olga Murray says that she has friends who say, my children don't need me any more and my grand children are all grown and they don't need me anymore either. And Olga tells them, go out and do something for someone else and see how it makes them feel. She said she feels more happiness in the last 20 years from the work that she has done helping Nepalese children, than she has felt at any other time.

She also says, you don't need to go all the way to Nepal to find a way to help others!

An Iranian Connection

Margaret Randall — Sun, 10 Aug 2008 21:05:37 GMT

In my newsletter, I was writing about my group of friends who get together periodically to share stories. We met at a company that we worked at nearly 10 years ago. One of the women is of Iranian descent. She was telling us that she was hearing the recent news and wanted to do something about it.

She created this video about peace. Please take a look,

Voices for Peace

Can You Write a Memoir?

Margaret Randall — Sat, 23 Aug 2008 15:43:05 GMT

To begin, there is an inspiring piece in Natalie Goldberg's book, Old Friend from Far Away, that is in the chapter titled "Ordinary."

She says: "I've said this in subtle ways, but yesterday after a book reading, an old student sidled up, not looking at me and said, 'My childhood wasn't so bad. I mean, well, I was brought up in Illinois.' "

"You mean, what if I had an uneventful, ordinary life, can I still write a memoir?" Natalie cut in.

The student nodded shyly.

"You know the answer," said Natalie. "What did Mies van der Rohe say? God hides in the details. Slow down and give them to us. We need to read about regular childhoods, otherwise, we won't know what they are..."

'A tremendous relief flushed across the student's face.'

"We need you," Natalie continues, "the ones who had a cough and your mother or grandfather was there to administer the syrup. Even if you had only one year when you were three when you tasted peace, let us know about that. The experience probably gave your fragile life a foundation. Share that ground with us. The important thing is to go below the clichés to touch the texture of your experience. Your mind is hungry to be alive."

Sunday Afternoon Gently Slipping Away

Margaret Randall — Sat, 27 Sep 2008 20:25:10 GMT

While I was in Wisconsin, I had an opportunity to spend some time with my Mom and my sister. I got to participate in the flower-shopping extravaganza...

This is a Story Lesson to jog your memory about a particular summertime afternoon you might remember when you spent some time with a special friend or some family members.

A Walk in the Neighborhood: A Story Lesson Podcast

Margaret Randall — Sat, 27 Sep 2008 20:25:34 GMT

While spending a month in Wisconsin with my family, I had an opportunity to settle into a different pace...

This is a Story Lesson Podcast that provides an example of writing about an experience of a time when your life was just a bit different than your usual routine.

The African Romance...

Margaret Randall — Sun, 06 Jul 2008 21:20:33 GMT

This story was adapted from one told by a friend of mine about a trip that she took. It is changed and altered but I ran across it the other day in my journal and wanted to share it.

Priscilla always wanted to go to Africa. She loves African music. She tried to find a tour to take her to the villages to hear music. But she couldn’t find one. Someone hooked her up with an expert on African tours who said “what you want doesn’t exist.”

So she just decided to sign up for what she called the “old geezer trip” and go and see the animals even though she isn’t that interested in animals. She finally found one that sounded like it could work. Her tour guide said, “You will meet Decatur, he is the best in Kenya. You’ll like him, you both have the same sense of humor.” Priscilla was skeptical.

Priscilla was on the bus and Decatur was the bus driver. He invited her to sit up front with him and he shared his vast knowledge about all the plants and scenery and animals. And he wasn’t short, he was well over 6’ tall. She felt an attraction. He held out his hand to shake hers. She thought he had a nice butt. She said, “nice grip.”

They traveled for a week, he leading the group. Then her tour was going where he didn’t go. He said in a private moment, “may I kiss you?” She said “yes.” He kissed her. She had to sit down on the car bumper. He said, “oh shit, shit, shit, I am in love with a white woman.” He told her, “a shock went through my heart when I shook your hand.”

Priscilla said, “Damn.”

He called by radio every night while she was on the tour. He said, "this is very expensive. 'I love you, can you say that?'" "No I can’t" she said, "I can say that I miss you and I think about you a lot.”

At the airport, he said, “you are so white, your arm looks like a plucked chicken.”

She returned to California. She thought, “Should I just go home and say, 'nice vacation?' Or what?” They continued to communicate. The first time she want back to Africa, she was nervous to go by herself with this man into the bush country and the night before, she left one of her sons and her mother called her and begged her not to go.

But she arrived and he met her in Nairobi and took her to his village and they had a 3-day celebration and killed a goat. Everyone there speaks at least three languages. Decatur speaks 9 and was learning French. The first time he came to America, he had never been on a plane or been out of Kenya. His children wrote her and said “please don’t let them shoot my father.”

He and Priscilla went to a tony party in a lavish home, dinner for 10. Normally, when Priscilla arrived at this home, the husband said, “oh good, you can cook.” The hostess made risotto and had a bone and Priscilla said, "where is the sauce," and the hostess said, “it didn’t turn out.”

There was golden cutlery and beautiful flowers. Other guests brought hors d’oeuvres and dessert and the hostess put a bowl on the table with partially cooked rice and a bone and it was supposed to be osso buco.

Decatur later said “that house, it was so beautiful and the table, it was so beautiful and the people, they were so nice, but the food, it was shit. I could not feed that food to my goat, the rice, crunch, crunch.”

He came to America 5 times. They bought property together in Kenya. He built them a home. Mt. Kilmanjaro is always in the fog. It is said that the only time you can see it is when you are in love. They could see it.

A Summer Storm, Shelf Paper and Shopping

Margaret Randall — Sat, 27 Sep 2008 20:26:07 GMT

Living in Wisconsin for the month of June. What a treat spending time with my family before my niece's wedding. I met my high school friend Ardyth for lunch on Saturday and we sat out on a patio and chatted most of the afternoon away. As we were getting up to leave, it looked very overcast. I continued on with my errands to Ace Hardware. I was bent on getting my brother's kitchen in order. I guess I have some of my sister Carol's genes. She recently started a home cleaning service.

On Monday I received a note from Ardyth. "Apparently I was right about it looking like rain when we left the restaurant! I had a message from Todd asking me to call him before leaving. Of course I was almost to the Interstate, but something in his tone told me to call right away. So for the first time ever I pulled off the road to make a call. He told me not to come home - stay put. Tornados were spotted and I would have run into them head-on. Since the mall was convenient I decided to get some shopping in while waiting out the storm.

"Just as I was ready to leave the store, a voice came over the load speaker telling us that the area was in a tornado watch and to, 'Follow your sales associate to our designated safe area. If you need to leave the store, do it now.' The designated safe area included the shoe department, so those chairs were available for folks. Others were sitting on clothing displays, leaning against any available wall space, and sitting on the floor. I mainly wandered, sometimes venturing too close to the door where I was told by a very strict and authoritative woman to, 'Please back away from the door. It's for your own safety.'"

"Several announcements were made over the next hour. When my incarceration was finally over I drove through some torrential downpours on the way home. During a walk on Sunday between storms, other than a few limbs down and small debris on the sidewalks everything seemed to be OK. I walk on a boardwalk over a local wetlands for several hundred yards and that water had risen quite a bit; bubbling up through the planks."

My question to my friend was, "was your shopping successful?" Then I told her how I spent my Saturday night putting new shelf paper all over my brother's kitchen. She replied that she was successful in her shopping. Then she said, "Can you come clean my kitchen or should I call Carol!"

A Travel Story Idea

Margaret Randall — Sat, 27 Sep 2008 20:28:04 GMT

You might want to write a travel story about some adventure that you had or, you might write about an adventure of a family member. It might be an adventure that lives large in your family memory.

I was rummaging through my old journals, looking for stories and found this one from a trip that I took in 2004 with my niece Katie.

She was just graduated from the University and it was a rare time as she was yet young and unmarried with other commitments that would demand her attention. I knew that it was an opportunity and was happy for the chance to spend a week in Florence, Italy with her. We explored the city. When we saw Michaelangelo's David, we were both awestruck. Katie remarked, "it must be one of the seven wonders of the world!"

Indeed, when you looked at it from one angle, there he was, seemingly invincible. But then you angled over to another view and you could see the fear in his eyes. It was magical.

This StoryLesson travel podcast might spark some ideas for your own travel stories.

Saturday Afternoon

Margaret Randall — Sat, 23 Aug 2008 15:42:28 GMT

Today I came home from the coffee shop thinking that I would get some work done on my garden. On the way, I passed a garage sale where they had some wonderful old wicker chairs out. I bought them. My neighbor was standing out in his driveway and I showed them to him because the two side chairs needed some repairs. He thought that he could take a look.

Later I went in and had some lunch, trying out one of the chairs with arms on the back patio. It felt lived in. The wicker is chipped white. It felt like lots of people had relaxed in that chair. The fellow who sold them to me said as much, "I've enjoyed many an afternoon in those chairs," he told me.

After I brought my dishes to the sink, I went outside to tackle my hedge. It has gotten out of control. I had to reach up with my trusty hedge trimmer way over my head to bring it down some. Quickly the hedge cuttings were piling up around my feet. I bored a hole through, so you could walk down the sidewalk again without having to fight your way through a thicket of privet.

When I was done, I stood back in the street to take a look. My neighbor came over. He was done with the chairs. "Well," I said, "what do you think?" He paused and stood back looking at the hedge.

"I wouldn't want you to ever give me a haircut," he remarked.

Relationship Stories, Part 1

Margaret Randall — Sat, 27 Sep 2008 20:28:48 GMT

In this series of podcasts, created for TellOurLifeStories subscribers, we'll talk about relationship stories. Our lives are filled with relationships and there are happy and sad moments. The way that we handle relationships and what we learn from them helps define who we are.

Listen in and get ideas about writing your own relationship stories. Subscribers can find Part 2 and Part 3 of these Relationship Story podcasts on the Story Ideas pages of TellOurLifeStories.com.

Part 1 is available here for non-subscribers too.

Subscribe to TellOurLifeStories today!

This Story Needs a Name...

Margaret Randall — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 09:36:18 GMT

This is a story that needs a name. You can help! Take a look and read the story.

If you think of a name for it, email me at margaret@tellourlifestories.com and let me know.

Here is the link: This Story Needs a Name

Enhancements and Community Building

Margaret Randall — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 09:24:48 GMT

There have been some enhancements to the community functions in TellOurLifeStories. When you click to add a story to the Collection of stories seen by subscribers only, the story is posted immediately. And you can click to have TellOurLifeStories immediately send out an email to all of your community members that you have more stories for them to view.

Switching Blog Providers

Margaret Randall — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 15:46:35 GMT

Since I am switching blog providers, I wanted to put all my previous entries here so that you can see them too. You'll see that this blog looks a bit different, but since I will be adding podcasts going forward, this gives me the capatility to do that.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Enhancements!

Yes, what to do next is always the question. So, in addition to classes coming up, there are enhancements coming too, to make the community experience more interactive. It will all be in the next newsletter, coming soon.

And over the last while, I've been compiling my own life stories and journals. Not just one box, but boxes since college days. There's happy stuff and there's adversity, as with every life. But it sure gives a picture you can look back on and say, yup, I did that, I thought that, I said that, that actually happened and here I am. Actually there aren't that many boxes. I'm not a pack rat where you walk into the house and have to burrow your way through the maze, only 4 boxes. But I never realized that I journal so much. I just filled the books and stashed them. Who knew?

Monday, March 10, 2008

Classes and More

Well, I have been thinking quite a bit about the Power of Intention these days. I've been reading Wayne Dyer's book with that name and there are some wonderful insights to be had. My intention right now is to offer more classes on TellOurLifeStories. We had fun at the last class in February and I just looked at the calendar and, yikes, we are well into March with nary a class scheduled yet.

But, I have been busily reading Natalie Goldberg's new book, Old Friend from Far Away, the Practice of Writing Memoir that just came out mid-February. As I read, I am thinking of a lesson plan for the new classes.

So there will be more classes coming up soon. My intention is to offer more classes, with a variety of teachers too. So lo and behold, someone I emailed long ago, today replied to my email and wants to connect. I had given up on her. There might be something to this intention stuff.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Where Were You on That Day in History?

In various conversations I have heard people say, "who would be interested in my life story?" As my friend Jay says, "you are interesting now, but you will be fascinating 50 years from now!"

The real food for life stories is in the details! When I think of my grandmother born in 1899, I recall her telling me she would rather take the elevator than the escalator. She didn't like the idea of a moving staircase and was afraid she would get her shoe stuck in it.

I remember the family getting together at her home to watch Neil Armstrong take the first steps on the moon. "That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind," he said. That was July 21, 1969. Richard Nixon was the president.

And I remember standing in the living room glued to the TV and seeing Jack Ruby shoot Lee Harvey Oswald. It happened right there, right on that black and white TV screen in front of all of America. It was November 24, 1963 and I was 12 years old. And what about the motorcade and John-John Kennedy giving that salute at the gravesite and Jackie Kennedy in her veil holding Carolyn's hand.

I was in Catholic grade school at the time and when the news came about the assassination, we all went into the church to pray. I had a hard time on the kneelers because I had just torn up my knees falling off my new blue Schwinn bike.

My church recently went through a process to become "green." The goal was using all recycled products from copy paper to plates. This means we'll be doing more dishes, of course.

What will people 50 years from now say about our interest in the environment? What will have occurred by then? How will people be living? Will everyone have electric cars and solar panels?

All the stories are in the details!

Sunday, January 13, 2008

Slightly More about Classes

Gregory Kompes is an accomplished online class instructor and he'll be taking us through the process of beginning to write a memoir. It promises to be a fun experience! More to come...

Classes Coming Up Soon!

Hi Friends!
In addition to the free live teleconference that we are hosting on Feb. 6 (see last post below) we will soon be offering online classes in writing your life story. Gregory Kompes (visit Gregory at www.kompes.com ) stay tuned!

Sunday, January 6, 2008

Free Live Teleconference!

We will be hosting our first FREE live teleconference on Wednesday evening February 6 at 5 p.m. Pacific Standard Time. I met Jay Speyerer through an article that I read a couple of years ago in Better Homes and Gardens magazine. Jay's website is http://legacyroad.net and Jay has been helping people to write their memoirs for a number of years. He's come up with a whole Story System that folks can use as a guide when writing their life stories.

Jay and I are creating our lesson and we're looking forward to joining with our audience as you begin the adventure of telling life stories. We'll talk about how to begin, provide some ideas about topics for getting started and help you to embark on this journey.

Email margaret@tellourlifestories.com to receive the phone number and password for the teleconference. You can cozy up in a your favorite chair for 55 minutes and join us for some conversation!

Saturday, December 8, 2007

Today's News

The first newspaper article just appeared in the MarinScope newspapers http://tellourlifestories.com/Ross_Valley_Story.htm. From the beginning, this website has had a life of its own.

I also just recently had a chance to interview Natalie Goldberg, who has written several books over the years about how to write. Her most widely-read book is Writing Down the Bones, which I've had on my shelf for 20 years. Since I've been a fan for so long, it was great to have the chance to interview her.

Look for the interview on http://www.tellourlifestories.com/.